I thought I would want to write more along the way in our journey, but I have come to realize something about myself, I can't really talk about details while in the midst of them...it's once on the other side, or at least over the first hurdles that I can start to digest and reflect on what I have been through. With that said...We are so excited to announce, Makena is getting a little sister, due Jan 7, 2016 :). It's been a long road this past year, much like it was when we were finally blessed with Makena. Fertility struggles are very real, and very, very emotionally and physically draining.
Our journey for baby #2 started almost a year ago now. I nursed Makena until right after her first birthday (July 27th), I weaned her completely by August 1st because I needed my cycle to return, in order to start trying for #2. (Recap, we had to do IVF in order to conceive Makena, and we had four frozen embryos left from her cycle to use to try for baby #2). Early September 2014, I started going in to be monitored for a frozen IVF cycle, and I was waiting for my cycle to start in order to get started...but my period was a week late, SO not like me. Come to find out, I was pregnant, on my own this time, yay, right?! Well unfortunately not so great...my HCG number was low, so they knew it wouldn't be a viable pregnancy, and it wasn't...two weeks later, my period started. That was a let down...Upside I still had 4 embryos in the freezer at the lab waiting for us :). This chemical pregnancy delayed the first frozen cycle, until November. We decided to only transfer one embryo at a time, since I had already been pregnant, they were worried about twins. Sadly, we lost one embryo as it didn't survive the thaw. The next embryo made it and they transferred around mid November 2014. Right before my birthday and Thanksgiving, we found out it didn't take, not pregnant. So sad, but we still had two embryos left...still had hope. FET #2, right before New Years....negative again, early January. So scared and devastated, only one chance left...
I am 38 years old, and not working full time, so another fresh IVF cycle at 20k a pop, was really not an option...this last embryo was our only chance for a sibling for Makena. Though totally blessed and so so happy to have Makena, and if she was our only child I would still be so happy, because having a child is the biggest blessing in life, she is our miracle...I really want a sibling for her SO bad, this whole process has really been about her. We are older parents, and having lost my Mom at 65, when I was 36 (really more like 57, and I was 28 because she had Alzheimers), the last thing I want is for Makena to be an only child. I could not have gotten through the loss of my Mom so young without my sisters....
After the second failed cycle, I decided to take a couple months off...to get off all of the hormones and the emotional and physical roller coaster, and reset my mind and get refocused. I started back with Accupuncture, exercised a lot, went on a vacation, and got myself mentally prepared for that last embryo, our last chance. By the way, for anyone struggling with fertility and considering IVF, they now offer chromosome testing on the embryos to ensure they use chromosomally normal embryos only..I WISH they had this option with my cycle in 2012, it could have saved me at least 12k in failed cycles and the emotional toll of failed cycles...
In the end, it was our last embryo, our last miracle embryo that took :). I am now going on 15 weeks pregnant. We had the cell free DNA blood draw, and she came back with no markers for chromosome abnormalities, so fingers crossed everything is good and healthy. The first trimester was anything but easy. I had many bouts of bleeding, and fear of miscarriage, it was very very scary. I was on bed rest/pelvic rest a lot between week 5 and 12. I had what they call sub chorionic bleeding, supposedly rarely harms the fetus, but very scary nonetheless. Whenever you see blood while pregnant, it is never a good thing. I am hopeful the bleeding has come to an end, and I can start to be more active again, I miss working out so badly...I lifted weights until the day I went into the hospital to have Makena. I'd love to get back to that with this baby too, makes delivery and after baby arrives so much easier on your body.
What I have learned on this journey is that life is just never easy and simple, but if you persevere even under the most stressful of circumstances, life will work out the way it's meant to work out, and there's definitely a higher chance of it working out in your favor if you never give up :). The journey is a marathon and not a sprint..we have many months ahead still before we meet our second miracle princess, but I pray the marathon left is a smooth road. I am so thankful for Makena Lane and all of you loyal customers of ours. This little shop dream of mine has given me something totally separate and positive to focus on during a turbulent time. I have truly enjoyed getting to know a lot of you, working with you on special outfits, photo shoot ready outfits, weddings and flower girl dresses, and more. Thank you for taking this journey with me and trusting me with your orders and styles for your little princesses! :) Much more to come from Makena Lane this Fall, be on the look out through the next couple of months!
Blessed and hopeful,